It’s weird being the same age as old people.

 When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected.

 Chocolate is God’s way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.

It’s probably my age that tricks people into thinking I’m an adult. 

During the middle ages they celebrated the end of the plague with wine and orgies.  Does anyone know if there is anything planned when this all ends. 

I see people about my age mountain climbing; I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. 

We can all agree that in 2015 not a single person got the answer correct to, “Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?” 

I’m at a place in my life where errands are starting to count as going out. 

I’m at that age where my mind still thinks I’m 29, my humor suggests I’m 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I’m sure I’m not dead yet. 

I’m getting tired of being part of a major historical event. 

I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit.

At what point can we just start using 2020 as profanity? As in:  “That’s a load of 2020.”  or “What in the 2020.” or “abso-2020-lutely.” 

You don’t realize how old you are until you sit on the floor and then try to get back up.  

We all get heavier as we get older, because there's a lot more information in our heads. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. 

This is the day dogs have been waiting for.  They realize their owners can’t leave the house and they get them 24/7. Dogs are rejoicing everywhere.  Cats are contemplating suicide. 

If you are trying to impress me with your vehicle it better be a food truck.

Scene from South Africa

Swans in the UK after a flood